ONE DAY IN WINTER- DIARY OF A LONDONER

It’s 8pm on Sunday and the Met Office just issued a weather warnings. Blizzard is on the way to London. Well, I do hope my boss is watching this because I’ve got a feeling that I’m not going to the office tomorrow.

Niedziela, godzina dwudziesta. Synoptycy wlasnie zapowiedzieli, ze sniezyce sa w drodze na Londyn. Mam nadzieje, ze szef tez to oglada bo cos mi sie wydaje, ze nie bedzie mnie jutro w biurze.

Hang on…I’m the boss. Scrap this. I send messages to my staff- beware of FAKE SNOW NEWS.

7:00am on Monday- no snow.

8:00am – still now snow.

9:00am- ditto. But there are news that snow is on the way. We anxiously monitor the situation. In case we are snowed in in the office, we have provisions of 2 packets of Oreos, a box of gingerbread cookies and a bottle of champagne. If we introduce rations, we will survive until tomorrow.

16:00pm- OMG a snowflake! I just saw a snowflake! Turns to others saw it too and so London happily descends into a widespread hysteria. Flight cancelled! Trains not working! Londoners take to Twitter. Someone suggest that Luftwaffe would have had better luck bombing us with snow. Could we NOT compromise national security, please?

18:00pm- Dispatches from our local Tesco. There’s no more tin food or cookies. We are fighting for the last loaf of bread. As it turns out, a childhood spent on queuing up for food behind an Iron Curtain equipped me exceptionally well and I’ve just made off wth the said bread. I’ve also bought a year supply of toilet roll and some more champagne. I’m now sure we can survive the snowmageddon.

23:00pm- OMG I just saw a snowflake!!!

one day in winter

One day in winter

One day in winter

One day in winter

One day in winter

one day in winter

One day in winter

one day in winter

PL

Zaraz, zaraz…to ja jestem szefem. Wysylam sms-y do moich pracownikow ostrzegajac przed alternatywnymi faktami pogodowymi.

7 rano- nie ma sniegu.

8 rano- wciaz nie ma sniegu.

9 rano- jak wyzej. Wiadomosci trabia, ze snieg jednak bedzie. Monitorujemy sytuacje. W razie gdyby nas zasypalo w biurze, mamy dwie paczki Oreo, pudelko piernikow i butelke szampana. Jesli wprowadzimy racje zywnosciowe, przetrwamy do jutra.

4 po poluniu- platek sniegu! Widzialam platek sniegu! Wyglada na to, ze inni tez go widzieli bo Londyn wlasnie pograzyl sie w histerii. Loty odwolane! Pociagi nie jezdza! Ktos na Twitterze zasugerowal, ze Luftwaffe powinno bylo zrzucic na nas bomby sniezne. Czy mozemy NIE kompromitowac bezpieczenstwa narodowego?

6 po poludniu- meldunek z lokalnego Tesco. Skonczyly sie puszki i ciastka. Walczymy o ostatni bochenek chleba. Wyglada na to, ze dziecinstwo spedzone w kolejkach za Zelazna Kurtyna znakomicie wyposazylo mnie w pewne umiejetnosci poniewaz wlasnie uchodze z tym ostatnim bochenkiem. Nabylam tez roczny zapas papieru toaletowego i kilka butelek szampana. Jestemy przygotowani na armagedon.

11 wieczorem- platek sniegu! Wlasnie widzialam platek sniegu!

I’m wearing:

Jacket & t-shirt- vintage

Jeans- Levis

Shoes- &Other Stories

Glasses- Na-Kd

Bag- Chanel

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